Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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