My room smells like vodka and shame
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
