So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
