it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize