I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
And then he peed in my hair
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