Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
