the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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