I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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