So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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