More tranny stories later!
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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