Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
