It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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