So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
