Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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