How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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