I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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