This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
