lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
