careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
