The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
