dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The ass gains better be worth it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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