You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
