Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
