we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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