It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
