You work out of a Hotel?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
