Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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