went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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