ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
