you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
