So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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