so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
