Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
