Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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