I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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