I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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