the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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