I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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