Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
