You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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