Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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