Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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