dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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