I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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