you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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