dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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