I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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