dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
