I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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