Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
