i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
