As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
