My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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