So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
