bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
