Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
