Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
