just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
