Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
