It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Randomize
